an affirmation

when you're standing at the bathroom sink and elsewhere.

(Take a slow, deep, breath. Exhale slowly. Take another slow, deep, breath. Exhale slowly.")

Standing at the bathroom sink this morning, washing my face, this affirmation popped into my head:

I, like many I’m sure, have been, as the phrase goes, “going through it.” Which is why I haven’t been posting, but if you’re still here I thank you for sticking with me. The past few months have been heavy with uncertainty of all kinds: artistic uncertainty, inner self uncertainty as I’ve been questioning myself and current circumstances, as well as career uncertainty as I’ve been job hunting with no short amount of struggle. It’s been HARDT, y’all. It’s caused me to dig deep and question if I really want the sunshine. If I do? I’ll get the sun but I also have to go through some shadows to get there. So I’ve been focused on pivoting and trying new things.

There is so much more joy than I know, waiting for me on the other side of the past fear(s) I’ve been operating from. And I don’t want to regret trying because of the assumption that I’ll fail. That is why the phrase “I choose my future joy over my past fear” is so important.

Because what if it ALL *does* work out? What IF it works out BETTER than I’ve been working towards? So with that, I’m choosing myself. Yes, I’m choosing myself. Beyond the fear, in spite of fear, through the fear, and over the fear. To future joy.

As I move forward with determination and future joy in mind, I hope you too reader, gain some courage from this post. I hope it bolsters your belief in yourself and challenges your doubts about yourself. You are worthy of all you desire. You worthy of all you’re striving for. It’ll come. It’s all working out in your favor.